Football humor corner: review of the European mass media

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Football humor corner: review of the European mass media

Ronaldo
and Messi will exchange clubs

Spain
is discussing the possible exchange by Barcelona and Real of the main
stars – Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo. Presidents of clubs
Josep Bartomeu and Florentino Pérez held business negotiations in
five-stars hotel on the island of Tenerife during which between
bosses of two teams arose a controversy on who after all is stronger
– Messi or Ronaldo.

Bartomeu
and Perez agreed about Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo’s exchange
during the nearest transfer window for a period of one season. At the
moment Barcelona and Real are discussing financial issues of future
transaction. There is information that Gerard Piqué and Sergio Ramos
can become a part of this transfer.

Wenger
wants the lifelong contract

The
sensation about Arsène Wenger ceased when the French expert signed
with Arsenal the new contract for a period of two years. But now
Wenger again can appear on the head pages of the leading European
media. The Frenchman is afraid that the period of two years is not
enough for him for launching the new project in Emirates and it is
impossible to carry out all necessary transfers during summer
transfer window.

“I
won’t reinvent the wheel if I tell that the term of the contract
presses on any coach. In modern football clubs are ready to pay more
than €100 million for top football players, and this is expanding
the process of building of not so powerful (in financial plan) teams.
For more effective work the coach has to be sure in tomorrow. I don’t
hint at anything, but Cristiano Ronaldo is sure in tomorrow, he has
signed the lifelong contract with Nike”, – Wenger told
journalists.

Wenger

Slutsky
took English lessons from Mutko

The
new head coach of “Hull City” Leonid Slutsky has told how
he received his work in the Championship.

“I
always dreamed to work in England. I want to thank two people – Roman
Abramovich and Vitaly Mutko. Thanks to them I could live out my
dream. Abramovich supported me all the time I stayed in England.
Mutko for the last five months helped with English. It is possible
to tell that I have learned language according to his notes.
Sometimes we even called up by video conference in order Vitaly
Leontyevich to consult me in correct pronunciation of these or those
words”, – the authoritative, but unknown British edition is
quoting Slutsky.

Ibrahimovic
is going to buy out Manchester United

The
famous football agent Mino Raiola has told that his client Zlatan
Ibrahimovic can’t sleep peacefully after leaving Manchester United.
The Swedish forward doesn’t accept the fact that the club has refused
his services, despite his greatness and charisma.

According
to Mino Raiola, Ibrahimovic is going to buy out large share of
Manchester United and to become the main shareholder of the club.
Zlatan’s aim is to prolong the contract and the possibility of
immediate breach of the contract. “Ibra doesn’t want to play for
United any more because he doesn’t want to deal with betrayers. But
Zlatan can’t allow a situation when his future would be decided by
someone else. It conflicts with all football canons”, – Raiola
has explained.

Ibrahimovic is going to buy out Manchester United

The
squad of Portugal for the Confederations Cup was appointed by Ronaldo

Information
on how the squad of the national team for the Confederations Cup was
formed has leaked out into the Portuguese mass media. It appears that
all issues in Portuguese national team are resolved by Cristiano
Ronaldo.

The
Portuguese football association has been shocked by the fact that
Ronaldo has led team to the victory in the European championship
2016. We will remind, the Cristiano in the first half of the final
match against France was injured after a clash with Dimitri Payet.
After substitution the leader of Portugal hasn’t fall in depression,
and has forced out Fernando Santos from coach’s zone and has
decided to instruct his partners.


According
to mass media, since then Ronaldo de facto is the head coach of
Portuguese national team. At the same time Cristiano can’t officially
sign the contract due to the lack of the coach’s license of the
adequate category. Now Ronaldo has to determine the squad, carryout
the training process and to hold tactical lessons with the team. And
if we speak about Fernando Santos, he is only obliged to visit
trainings, press conferences, and also to pay attention on the
condition of balls and gates.

PS.
This material has humorous twist. All should be considered to be a
joke.

Read also: IFAB can shorten playing time in football matches up to 60 minutes

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